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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Reflection 2/9 - Viewing Stones

I'm so sick of writing about things I don't know, and I'm sick of the fact that my life is seemingly composed of those unknowns. I want to write of revelations and certainties, and hope. I want my life to be like a smooth river stone, unique and substantial. I love the feel of stone, the feeling of immovability against one's fingers. Pure substance, dense and smooth. How much of that purity and solidity comes from its lifelessness, I wonder. You feel the rock, but surely what you press between your fingers is a pocket of pure universal substance, that stuff that makes up the world. I like this word, solid. I even like the thought of the world being a lifeless mass of stone, the thought that I could press my face against the dirt and the sand, and dig my fingers into the ground and hold on as the world spins. This all reminds me that the world is indeed spinning, tracing grooves in space, cog in cosmic chronometer. Maybe if I held on, I wouldn't feel so much like I was an accidental smear of bacteria on someone's masterpiece pencil drawing. I would cling to this spinning stone, and maybe then I'd learn something.

1 comment:

Lili said...

"The pebble
is a perfect creature

equal to itself
mindful of its limits

filled exactly
with a pebbly meaning

with a scent that does not remind one of anything
does not frighten anything away does not arouse desire

its ardour and coldness
are just and full of dignity

I feel a heavy remorse
when I hold it in my hand
and its noble body
is permeated by false warmth

--Pebbles cannot be tamed
to the end they will look at us
with a calm and very clear eye"