How tragic.

A quick and dirty entry, due to an impending party:

We build our lives, at least to an extent, around various people whose lives intertwine with ours for a given amount of time. Friends, lovers, colleagues, but especially friends. At times it seems we can trust them with things that we keep secret even from our own family, and the fact that they don't actually share any blood relation to us can give us a welcome perspective on our lives. But maybe their lives are never truly bound to ours, as is the case with family. Not having a large family myself, I've always relied on my friends to pick up the slack and I've never been disappointed. I have amazing friends. However, they all have their own lives to lead, and if those lives and their choices lead them in another direction from my own, what am I supposed to feel? How much can I do to keep them close to me, without, through my actions, destroying what made us friends in the first place. To be blunt, should anyone really have to work to sustain a friendship? Or is it better to wish them well on their journey and let them drift away from you?

Honestly, I don't know the answer, but at this point in my life I really wish I did. I fear that as I change, I may be growing out of friendships I've had for many years. I think to myself, "how tragic", but it's no tragedy to have had a meaningful friendship. It's tragic to expect it to last forever, and be disappointed by reality. I suppose, in a sense, they will always be your friend, but maybe (and I hate this word), after a while they're doomed to become an acquaintance. Maybe the trick is to recognize the desire for possession associated with friendship and overcome it. The friendship was what it was, and maybe trying to prolong it is just a selfish desire to avoid pain, or reluctance to relinquish someone who is "yours".

Maybe I'm trying to talk myself into something.

Bryan