I've lived in the same house my whole life. Even though I now spend most of the year living far away from that home, it has remained the single place that I inevitably return to, and I wonder if some part of me is still convinced that I'll never have to give this place up. Of course it's not just the building I return to, but every summer I also return to this illusion of permanence, content to let the "real world" slide for a couple of months because it'll still be there when I've had my fill of unreality. It's a mentality I've been living with for a very long time.
Sometime very soon now, however, this likely won't be the place I return to, and I confess I'm rather frightened by the prospect of severing this deep connection to my own past. Like I've said before, I feel very much like I've reached the disconnect between my past and my future, when my entire way of looking at life will change as much as where and how I'll be living. It's a narrow mindset that I live with, but I think I've finally gotten a glance at the hereafter, and I just wish I had the self-knowledge and drive to match the unlimited possibility I'll soon be thrust into.
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Home is where the heart is right champ? No part of this is unreal. The so called real world seems more unreal to me than what you call unreality. I've never seen this real world. These places I've heard of. Washington D.C. for example exists as a construct in my mind. I've never been there. But here and now where friends are in abundance thats whats real. It's my fill of reality to spend a yearlong voyage through unreality.
The self-knowledge we can fake and the drive will find us. I was deeply saddened the end of high school because i thought the home i had then was being destroyed. I wrote an essay on it. read it sometime if you want. But if anything, it taught me that even though we might go away we'll come back. so fear not. haha be fearless. It will only get better fromhere.
brb
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